What do I cherish the most?
People: I cherish those people who believe in me. Those who believed in me from the start, not just when I began to better myself.
Places: I cherish the Tower that over looks Downtown Kansas City. Its breath taking, goose bump causingly beautiful. It make you cherish life.
Things: I cherish books. This is my favorite response. I cherish books because they take me to a good place. They take me to a better person. A better character. I cherish books because when I’m losing myself, I began to find me through out the pages. I cherish words. I cherish writing utensils. Words come out better through my hands than through my mouth. Life makes sense when I write.
What is the biggest secret that you have?
I told you, I don’t have secrets. I have untold stories. Plus, if I had “the biggest secret” I would ruin that with just telling you, wouldn’t I?
What is one of your best untold stories?
That’s better. The fact that I was once capable of loving someone as much I loved one before. -that is my best, yet.
Loved? Why past tense?
Because. Love only finds you once. Once, if you’re even lucky for that.
So you don’t think you’ll ever be able to love again?
Yes. I do believe I will, one day. But I’m not so sure I’ll be able to love so bold, so hard, so fearless as I once did?
Who’s this lucky guy?
See, that’s why its an untold story. Moving on?
What makes you the way you are?
Other people’s lives. Lives I don’t want to have. I try to live the opposite. But not too good.
What did you let go of?
I don’t remember. I’ll let you know if it comes back to me.
*confused look* But how would you know what it is when it does come back?
Because it’ll be the best moment in my life. Who wouldn’t be able to know that?
What do you want to accomplish before you ‘kick the bucket?’
I want to live. Not just live, but live.
What do you want for your future?
I want to be like the lady checking out at my register. She was about 50-60 odd years old and bought a lot of portraits. “I’m just having fun.” She said when i asked her how she was doing. “I’m spending all my money. In a good way.” Gosh, the light in her soul was blinding me as she spoke. “I’m still trying to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up.” And she smiled. I want to be like her. Happy. Full of life. …butttt with a doctorate degree in neurology. But I do want to be happy.
If you could tell yourself something, what would it be?
I talk to myself everyday. You’ll see my driving and the radio won’t be on because I’ll be having a full convo with myself. I’m such a weirdo. But I beg myself to believe in me. To not trust in the future -too much. To live a day at a time, but with a small plan for tomorrow, just in case JC wants to give me another day. I mean, we gotta plan ahead a little, right?
Tell me anything about you.
I’m a sophomore in college that will soon join the army. I am starving for success and I will do just about anything to get there. I’m a control freak at times and I like things done the way I picture them. I’m open minded to just about everything. I’m the type who will drive hours just to keep the convo going between me and I. I believe there is good and bad in everybody. I believe one day I’m going to be the person I have always been chasing.
What do you believe in?
I thought the last question was the wrap up to this interview. I believe this question does not fit in and calls for a whole other post.