Sister to Sister

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To my sister:

First, how did it happen? How did you go from putting your bangs in a colita, to using hair straighteners, and MAC Cosmetics? How is it possible to hold on to time so that you can stay this way forever? If I could, I’d stop it. Right now. There are so many things left unsaid each and every day. So here’s my way of summarizing it, before you grow up even more. Continue reading

Another Detox…

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Hey ya’ll, its D here!

I’m so pumped to tell you that I have begun another Detox! I’m sad to say that with so much going on in my life right now, I have not had time for me. I know it sounds strange, but I have been trying to stay on top of everything here at home, school, and these ‘jobs’. I’ve been keeping myself so busy, that I have lost interest in myself.

it sounds odd, I know. But I have to remind myself that, I too, matter. (:

We’re all like that! We get so caught up in life that we forget or we just end up putting ourselves to the side. I don’t want that to happen any longer, and I don’t want you guys to feel like that either.

So lately, I have been feeling kind of different. A scary different. I’m guessing its because I’m so tired of this, that and the third. But no mo’! These last couple of days I have been focusing on myself and nothing but me. I have been taking some mental notes and I have a lot to work on. I’m motivated and I find myself inspired by many things everyday.

You’re probably rolling your eyes. I know, I talk a lot! Lemme get started… Continue reading

Some just ask too many questions. -Personal

What do I cherish the most?

People: I cherish those people who believe in me. Those who believed in me from the start, not just when I began to better myself.

Places: I cherish the Tower that over looks Downtown Kansas City. Its breath taking, goose bump causingly beautiful. It make you cherish life.

Things: I cherish books. This is my favorite response. I cherish books because they take me to a good place. They take me to a better person. A better character. I cherish books because when I’m losing myself, I began to find me through out the pages. I cherish words. I cherish writing utensils. Words come out better through my hands than through my mouth. Life makes sense when I write.

What is the biggest secret that you have?

I told you, I don’t have secrets. I have untold stories. Plus, if I had “the biggest secret” I would ruin that with just telling you, wouldn’t I?

What is one of your best untold stories?

That’s better. The fact that I was once capable of loving someone as much I loved one before. -that is my best, yet.

Loved? Why past tense?

Because. Love only finds you once. Once, if you’re even lucky for that.

So you don’t think you’ll ever be able to love again?

Yes. I do believe I will, one day. But I’m not so sure I’ll be able to love so bold, so hard, so fearless as I once did?

Who’s this lucky guy?

See, that’s why its an untold story. Moving on?

What makes you the way you are?

Other people’s lives. Lives I don’t want to have. I try to live the opposite. But not too good.

Biggest regret?

Letting go.

What did you let go of?

I don’t remember. I’ll let you know if it comes back to me.

*confused look* But how would you know what it is when it does come back?

Because it’ll be the best moment in my life. Who wouldn’t be able to know that?

What do you want to accomplish before you ‘kick the bucket?’

I want to live. Not just live, but live.

What do you want for your future?

I want to be like the lady checking out at my register. She was about 50-60 odd years old and bought a lot of portraits. “I’m just having fun.” She said when i asked her how she was doing. “I’m spending all my money. In a good way.” Gosh, the light in her soul was blinding me as she spoke. “I’m still trying to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up.” And she smiled. I want to be like her. Happy. Full of life. …butttt with a doctorate degree in neurology. But I do want to be happy.

If you could tell yourself something, what would it be?

I talk to myself everyday. You’ll see my driving and the radio won’t be on because I’ll be having a full convo with myself. I’m such a weirdo. But I beg myself to believe in me. To not trust in the future -too much. To live a day at a time, but with a small plan for tomorrow, just in case JC wants to give me another day. I mean, we gotta plan ahead a little, right?

Tell me anything about you.

I’m a sophomore in college that will soon join the army. I am starving for success and I will do just about anything to get there. I’m a control freak at times and I like things done the way I picture them. I’m open minded to just about everything. I’m the type who will drive hours just to keep the convo going between me and I. I believe there is good and bad in everybody. I believe one day I’m going to be the person I have always been chasing.

What do you believe in?

I thought the last question was the wrap up to this interview. I believe this question does not fit in and calls for a whole other post.

-Danna

Dirty Mirror

Why do we rely on reflections to rate our beauty? Why do we trust so much in a reflection? Dirty mirrors make us think dirty things about ourselves. Why do we let a simple reflection determine whether we’re ‘pretty’ enough, ‘skinny’ enough, or even good enough? Why do we allow ourselves to be wounded by our reflection? To be stabbed at something that just stares back at us?

Darling, you’re good enough. You’ll always be.

Tell me who taught you that your beauty can be determined by a dirty mirror. Tell me who it was that put that filthy thought in you.

A dirty mirror will never be able to go into your soul and tell you that you are perfect. Nor will a clean mirror. Because honey, no piece of glass could ever be clean enough to show you how truly beautiful you really are.

So, if you don’t like your reflection; its okay. Don’t buy another mirror. Simply clean it. And I don’t mean the mirror, sweetheart. Clean the reflection. Clean the soul in that reflection. Clean it from those thoughts, because you are beautiful. No matter how dirty you feel, you are truly, amazingly gorgeous. And I promise you, that smile of yours, gosh, it kills us all.

Think beautiful, talk beautiful, be beautiful -wait, you already are.

Girl, put the mirror away. You have it all.

-Danna